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In 2016

I hate resolutions.  I find the whole process of finding something to work towards just because it's a new year exhausting.  I also find it humorous to watch as the number of cars in the gym parking lot dwindle with each passing day as people throw in the towel.  Full disclosure, I'm only seeing those cars because the gym is right next to Starbucks and I'm getting coffee; I have never had a resolution to "work out every day" or "stop eating sugar."  I know me.  I'm not going to set myself up for failure before the first month of the year is through.

2015 was a hard year.  As a whole, it was filled with good times with family and friends, work, and a general sense of happiness.  However, it wasn't all happy.  Even before I became unemployed, I had a nagging sense of unhappiness.  I was feeling guilty for working so much and let that guilt tell me I was a bad mother.  I let work interfere in my most meaningful relationships and I find myself resenting that.  I let myself become totally immersed in being a mom and forgot that I have other complexities to who I am as a person.

2016, I see you.  2016 is the year of me.  It sounds conceited and self-centered, but I am making a promise to myself to treat myself better.  To listen to my feelings when I feel stressed and change that course.  To give myself the grace I deserve when I realize it's the first day of 2016 and all I've accomplished thus far is a Target run and sleeping.  To remind myself that while Mama Bear is very much a part of who I am, it's not the only role I have... I am so much more!  I'm on a journey to find out who I am now that I am also a mom.

I'm focusing my energies on the positives I wish to see and the projects I have pushed aside with the exhaustion of raising a toddler and working a little too much.  I liked my fall bucket list so much because it helped me stay focused and find the time to do those things I had planned; 2016 deserves a bucket list too.  But let's be serious, this girl is not likely to give up sugar any time soon.

I'm working on the list and will be excited to share it when it's done; I'm thinking 12 things, one for each month.  Maybe a few bonus items.  I share these types of things because I like the accountability.  I also hope that by sharing some of my struggles, I can help others.  Even if you read this and are inspired or encouraged but never tell me, it was worth it.

Happy New Year!
Danie

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