Los Porchs

I always knew that time would fly once a baby joined us, I've heard people say for years that they blinked and their babies were grown.... those first weeks of zero sleep and trying to figure out what made our little one happy were exhausting and felt like slow motion while all the while flying by!  Suddenly we were celebrating 1 month, 2 months... and here we are today.  4 months.  This kid has changed my life in so many ways, all of them positive. The stats... 16 pounds, 25.5 inches of cheeks and giggles are all ours! Charlotte loves... - the moving butterflies on her play mat - this Taggie blanket I accidentally ordered for her on Amazon during a late night pumping session - bath time - her Packer lovey from inspired3crochet on Etsy - Mortimer the Moose (one does not simply leave home without it) - Daddy Blast Off (Porch thrusting her into the air above his head) - story time (currently loving Boss Baby and Little Blue Truck) Charlotte does not love... - daytim

As we pack up for our big move to Wisconsin, there are some things that I'll miss (and some that I am more than happy to leave behind). After 6 years in Chicago, it's come to feel like home and I am sad to say goodbye but I also cannot wait to be thisclose to family and friends. What I'll Miss My amazing team at the center (seriously, if I could pick up my center and bring it with me, I would) Awesome public transportation The skyline Ethnic food any time of the day My network of fabulous ECE warriors Being a proud Packers fan in a sea of fair-weather Bears fans Things Chicago Can Keep Red light tickets The Bears (and their fair weather fans) T.r.a.f.f.I.c. Paying for parking e'rywhere That damn alley The gunshots (I get that there's crime everywhere, I'm not naive, just looking forward to not having my kid grow up numb to the sound of gang wars right down the street) Rude people Astronomically high rent I'm sure this list wi

It's official. We are going to be Wisconsinites by the end of 2014! We are in the process of purchasing a home in the Milwaukee area and couldn't be happier to be so close to family and friends again. In 2008, after seeing my frustration with my job search, Porch convinced me to expand my search radius to include Chicago. He was already here and I was spending every weekend here so I took the bait and started sending in my resume to places in the city. I found a job right away (with my current employer) and moved down to start my job. Porch & I knew we would end up married and the longstanding agreement was that we would live in the city until we were ready for children. I despised Illinois and wanted the experience of living here but couldn't see how it would ever be home. I was so wrong. I blossomed. I became an early childhood warrior. My career has been amazing and I think much of that is because of the resources and networking available here in the city (also my

Today marks one year since I walked into the surgery center with an empty uterus and walked out PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). Knowing that I "might" be pregnant was such a surreal experience, not wanting to tell anyone for fear it might not be our time and not wanting to tell a bunch of people that it hadn't worked... so thankful that Charlotte stuck around and is part of our family. I cannot imagine life without her. Every day, she amazes me with her giggles and smiles. I am hopeful that future attempts (we have 4 embryos remaining for FET (frozen embryo transfer)) are successful but also understand that we may be a family of 3. Only time will tell! Xo See!  She was small once ;)

Today marks the one-year celebration of the first time I had to give myself an injection for our IVF treatment.  It was a day of SO much emotion, so much suspense, and of course, so much hope.  I remember giving myself the pep talk about the injections -- This is nothing compared to what labor will be like (and I kinda called that one).  It got easier each time, especially as I found others in the blog world who were going through the same thing as I was at the same time. I would do every single thing again, multiple times, if it meant I got to find my way to Charlotte.  This girl is my own living, beating heart, outside of my body.  I am so thankful to the team at IHR  here in Chicago for all of their kindness, support, and knowledge.  The team at IHR helped Porch and I start our little family and we could never fully express the gratitude we have for that gift. I am still thinking of those who are in the midst of their journey to parenthood, those who have decided to live child-f

We have officially made it through the fourth trimester.  I firmly believe that it's a thing and having the mindset of helping C through a 4th trimester of development made it easier (I think) to handle the sleepless nights and some of the fussiness we encountered (though there honestly wasn't much *knock on wood*). || What Charlotte is wearing || ... 6 month onesies ... 6 month pants ... 0-6 month socks from Old Navy || Charlotte likes || ... sharing good morning smiles & chatter with momma & daddy when we get her out of her crib ... the silly songs momma & daddy make up to entertain her ... a good, snug swaddle (best sleep ever) ... a good blow out just to keep us on our toes ... bath time  ... walks ... kicking her feet ... shouting talking || Charlotte dislikes || *We're pretty aware of Charlotte's dislikes -- she's pretty vocal about it. ... the long car ride to the cabin ... being in the backseat of Momma's car by herself ... b

Gearing up to pack up Charlotte's 3 month outfits.... little miss is sporting an awful lot of 6 month outfits these days! She's so long, she needs the extra length.  Costco has the cutest Carters fleece jammies on sale for $5.99 so I got her a pair of pink jammies since so much of her clothing is gender neutral. I can't really even get mad when we're out in public and people tell me how cute my son is..... girlfriend rocks those neutral colors like a boss. I can't get over how quickly time is going and how much C has grown in just 12 weeks (almost 13). She'll be 3 months this weekend and I'm so excited to snap some pictures this weekend of her big gummy smile, complete with dimple. She makes me happy.

After a stay in the NICU early on, today's shots sucked but I immediately got to hold my baby & nurse her to console her. She was back to smiling in no time. She probably won't ever trust that MA again, but I was proud of both of us. It made me think about the mommas with babies in the NICU & that dull ache of longing to hold your baby but not being able to snuggle. I'm so thankful for my now healthy baby & for the team at Children's who supported her. Even though she wasn't "critical," she was in the NICU for a reason and it was hard. ... the shots weren't the hardest part of today's visit. The worst part was trying not to freak as the pediatrician starts asking me questions about C's arms and does she always favor her right arm? As I looked down at C on the exam table, I notice she isnt really moving her left arm. Immediately, without a moment of hesitation, I feel like shit. How the hell have I not noticed this? And then she p

I find myself going through dresser drawers when Charlie gives in to the nap, especially on weekends at home, and wondering why the hell I didn't do this sooner.  After years of holding onto those size 5 jeans and other items that are never (let's face it) going to fit me again, I find it so cathartic to throw those items into a giant garbage bag and either throw them away or donate them to Goodwill.  You know what I'm talking about, those "someday" jeans. My someday is here.  It's my someday of being a mommy.  It's my someday of being happy with my body and all that it has done for me.  My someday of no longer wishing and hoping for something different.  It's time to let go of the past and savor the present.  It's my time of happiness & contentment.  Sure, my body is a little squishy in some places and I have a few stretch marks that weren't there before, but I'm below my pre-IVF weight and I'm able to feed my [very] hungry baby

It's hard to get myself together, you know what I mean?  It's like either I'm totally on it at home or I'm killin' it at work but never both at once.  It's always kinda been that way for me, but right now, I am in a weird place where I feel like I'm lucky if my socks match which is SO not me.  But it is.  Because I'm a new me.  This is my mommyhood life and I need to find a new balance. So that means I have to... ... lay my clothes out the night before ... lay C's clothes out the night before ... leave my bc by the coffee so I remember to take it each morning around the 6 am feeding ... leave the lunchbox near the bc so I remember to pack breastmilk for the day ... shower at night so I can sleep as long as possible after that early morning feeing ... go to bed before I'm exhausted (I'm still working on this one) ... let Porch do more cuddling so I can get my homework done (getting better at this, though I suspect hardship when I am b

|| Charlotte likes || ... cuddling on Momma or Daddy's chests ... the Baby Bjorn ... cluster feeding (girl's got to grow!) ... sharing good morning smiles & chatter with momma & daddy when we get her out of her crib ... a good, snug swaddle (best sleep ever) || Charlotte dislikes || *We're pretty aware of Charlotte's dislikes -- she's pretty vocal about it. ... being burped mid-way through her bottle ... being in the backseat of Momma's car by herself ... hunger (of any kind, picture a Snickers commercial -- girlfriend gets HANGRY) ... afternoon naps ... tummy time (great for getting out gas bubbles) ... facial expressions (love seeing her personality emerging) ... her hair is changing colors ever so slightly and I can't wait to see what she ends up with! || Things Charlotte is undecided about at this point || ... bath time ... the car seat -- hates getting into it, but enjoys the car/stroller ride ... the K'Tan wrap  || Special th

I am a creature of habit, it's what makes me so efficient at work when it comes to our routine paperwork and reports.  I thrive on routine.  And for many years now, I've been telling parents how much children thrive on routine as well.  After our first week of being back to work, Charlotte and I had a great little routine going.  It was awesome-sauce and somewhat predictable (as predictable as one week's worth can be).  On her first day of school, she slept 6.5 hours that night (!!!!).  I woke up at 3:30 and had to check to make sure she was still breathing.  Her teachers had her sleeping in her crib and I thought hey, I should start having her nap in her crib at home too since she was doing so well at the center.  She was consistently hitting 2.5-3 hour naps and 4-5 hours at night. And then the weekend happened. Ugh.  It was rough.  And to add to the craziness (in a good way), my parents and brother & sister-in-law came to visit.  And that baby didn't hit the c

We have 4 frozen embryos waiting for us here in Chicago... waiting for us to decide when we're ready to try an FET (frozen embryo transfer) to bring a sibling for Ms. C into our family.  I remember when we did the retrieval, feeling so sad that we only had 5 viable embryos as a result.  It seemed like such a small number.  I could never have guessed that we would find success with our first transfer and meet Ms. C.   It only takes one.  We know we want to have at least one more, if not all of babies we've created with our first IVF cycle. Things we're certain of... ... we want more children. ... we will not destroy unused embryos. Things we're wondering about... ... what if we conceive future child(ren) naturally? ... how long do we wait before trying again?  What if it takes more than 1 cycle to find success?  How long can we carry the expense of keeping the embabies frozen?  My parents graciously supported us with 1-year of freezing but how long can we carr

The irony was not lost on me as my ob/gyn casually inquired "What are your plans for birth control?" during my six-week-postpartum visit on Friday afternoon.  I stifled a giggle and reminded him of our struggle to get pregnant and then concluded my response with "The pill, please." Because yes, it was a four year journey to add Ms. C to our family, but who knows how our second child will come to join us.  It's entirely possible that we could conceive naturally and I certainly do not want to find out the hard way and be surprised by an addition before we're ready. You know that "inspirational" story everyone tells you when you finally get pregnant after IVF?  You know the one, about so-and-so's brother's sister-in-law's cousin's friend who got pregnant with no problem after doing IVF?  I feel like that is better served as a cautionary tale than an inspirational one.  I was not in a place to hear such a story after finally getting

Today marks 6 weeks since C joined our family... in some ways, it feels like a lifetime and in other ways, it feels like I blinked and we're already at this benchmark! 6 Things @ 6 Weeks * C now weighs 12.5 pounds (!!) and is 23 inches long. * C loves to cluster feed at night before bed.  I try to be bothered by it, but really?  This sweet chunker wants mommy snuggles and I am more than happy to oblige (as long as I can eat at the same time). * C is no match for the Baby Bjorn.  I think all but one time she has been defeated and asleep within 5 minutes of being snapped into it!  I love baby wearing but am still trying to figure out how to get her out of the thing without waking her up.  I know, never wake a sleeping baby.  But this kid is huge and my back can only take so much at a time.  I'm building my strength :) * C is almost halfway through reading Charlotte's Web.  She's pretty into it ;) * C has already traveled to 5 cities in Wisconsin.  She's ki

Let me start this post by saying that I am a lucky momma who gets to take her daughter to work with her every day as she will be attending the center in which I work.  We get to share car rides in the morning and snuggles in the evening.  But I am also a momma who just cried into her coffee as she thought about her baby spending all day in the early learning center with teachers and not her mom. I hired and trained those teachers.  They're amazing.  I'm just getting hit by the wave of emotions that I've witnessed other new moms struggle with upon enrolling their 6-week-old peanut in the center & returning to work.  I know I'm so very fortunate that I have a relationship (a good one even) with the teachers and I will be 10 feet away (when I'm on-site).  It's an adjustment.  And really, if I'm being honest with myself, for the first 6 weeks we're back, I'm going to work part-time from my office and part-time from home so by the time we are fully

Around here, it's just not fall until I've made a batch of bread or muffins using my mom's recipe.  It is honestly the most moist bread you will ever eat (thanks in part to copious amounts of oil) and for us, it just tastes like memories.  Whenever I eat it, I think of my momma who was kind enough years ago to share her recipe with me and in the spirit of sharing, I am now sharing it with you!  Happy Fall, ya'll! Nana Julie's Famous Pumpkin Bread 5 eggs 1 1/4 C oil 1 can (15 oz) pumpkin 2C flour 2C sugar 2 small boxes of vanilla pudding 1t baking soda 1t cinnamon 1/2t salt * chocolate chips (I added these for the first time this year and will likely do so moving forward, just throw in whatever you have, the whole bag does nicely) Beat eggs, add oil & pumpkin Combine other ingredients & slowly add to mix Pour into 2 loaf pans (I like to make muffins instead as they're way easier to eat in the car or on the go) Bake at 325 for 75-80 mi

Umm, so after that post yesterday where I mentioned Charlotte seemed ready to roll her hot body over, Porch and I were attempting to help her burn some energy with extra tummy time in the evening and my little bug rolled from tummy to back as we watched & cheered her on.  I mean, when I said, "Show us how you roll," I didn't expect this one-month-old infant to actually roll herself over.   Clearly, our child is gifted.  (How come that tactic doesn't work when I politely request that she go to sleep?) Thankfully, I totally get that children can reach certain milestones early & others late... I suspect she'll have some wicked linguistic skills as we've been talking to her nonstop since her arrival and reading her novels (currently digging Charlotte's Web).  Plus, this kid has the body of a three-month-old so I'm not too shocked.  Just anxious that now she's semi-mobile and cannot be left alone in any position where she might roll away.  And

It's true!  Somehow, a month has already passed and today Ms. Charlotte celebrates her 1-month milestone! Porch & I stare at her frequently and wonder aloud how we got so lucky to have such an amazing baby to call our daughter.  We also marvel at just how big she looks!  She wasn't small by any means upon arrival, but let me assure you, this girl likes to eat & is gaining weight (hopefully in an appropriate fashion). || Charlotte likes || ... cuddling on Mommy or Daddy's chests ... pacing back and forth down the hallway ... reading stories ... being sung to (her favorite song is Swing Life Away by Rise Against) ... giving people the ocular pat-down with her one eye stare ... eating ... having her forehead rubbed to calm her down || Charlotte dislikes || *We're pretty aware of Charlotte's dislikes -- she's pretty vocal about it. ... diaper changes ... putting on clothes, especially pants --- forget about shoes or socks ... her crib ... be

My itty bitty isn't so itty these days and when I stop to think about that, I realize she'll be a month old on Friday!  What?!  How is that possible?  Wasn't it just yesterday I was huge & anxiously anticipating her arrival?  I am in awe of how quickly time passes, even though some of these days have passed [very] slowly.  I find myself taking care to remind myself that this day will never happen again, that Baby Porch & I will never share these moments again and it helps me, while rocking a baby in the basement of my parents' cabin at 5:00am in the dark room watching the sunrise, keep perspective.  I am a mommy.  I am so fortunate to have this chunky baby to love and care for.  In our first month, we've learned a lot about each other and I think we've overcome some hurdles (her stint in the NICU, breastfeeding woes, etc). Needless to say, her outfits for the next two days are already picked out & ready for her -- tomorrow is the first game of regu

I have never been a fan of those cheesy newborn pictures but I am quickly appreciating the fact that it was likely the cloud of infertility and the fact that I had never had a child that made me laugh every time I saw a picture of baby feet with wedding bands on them.  I mean... really.  Then I met my daughter and I won't even apologize; she has made me into a sentimental basket case.  I'm already thinking about holidays and traditions and forcing myself to savor and remember every moment with her as an infant because I know all too well that I am going to blink and be sending her off to college.  Or at least kindergarten. I enlisted the help of an outstanding up and coming photographer, Cecil Ramirez , from Chicago whom I had had the pleasure of working with at work.  I had been following his work on Facebook and wanted to capture the first days of Charlotte being home with us and asked him to come into our home to take some candid shots of our little family unit.  What he d

After four years of struggling to conceive, I can say without hesitation that Charlotte was worth the wait.  She is exactly the baby we were meant to raise together and makes our family complete (for now).  She is the answer to many prayers and every time I look at her little scrunched up face, I am reminded how lucky we are to have her in our arms. I have heard people (a member of my extended family even) comment on "our generation" and how selfish we are for bettering ourselves, particularly women, rather than having children right away.  Times have changed, women no longer are expected to put their careers and education aside to be a mother and wife (unless they want to).  For the first time, now that I'm a mother, I understand why a parent might want to be a stay at home parent.  But let me be clear:  my education and career have shaped me into the mother that I am.  I am confident.  I am strong.  I have a solid understanding of child development and typical develop

Porch returns to work on Friday... I'm now accepting bets as to when, on Friday, I lose my mind.  I'm guessing there will be a point at which I strap Baby Porch into the Baby Bjorn and high tail it over to Starbucks (and I'm guessing it will be before noon). Until then, Porch and I are tag-teaming this adventure and we rock as a team.  We've been binge watching House of Cards on Netflix together. The only tears I've had so far were (1) when the Dr. called and ordered us to the ER at Children's immediately and (2) when Baby Porch refused to nurse and I had to let Porch give her a bottle.  And I guess the moment I saw those chubby cheeks and realized she was ours!  Not too shabby for a chick with raging hormones! Maybe you've heard this song, You're Gonna Miss This, by Trace Adkins.  It's kind of become my theme song as I spend late nights and early mornings with Baby Porch rocking and nursing... I know there will be a day when these moments are go

I'm a little more than a week deep into my maternity leave from work and as I was all excited that I had 5 weeks left and man, won't it be awesome that we'll someday have a routine and life will be slightly more cohesive than just me sitting around, watching movies, napping, snuggling, and feeding Baby -- two things occurred to me.  Two semi-distressing things: Porch goes back to work THIS Friday. School starts for me next Thursday. So my super awesome partner in this baby experience will be out of the house roughly 8am-7pm (on a good day) and Charlie & I will be left to our own devices.  Very much a sink or swim scenario, but I suspect we'll swim.  And then find our way to the nearest Starbucks before binge watching Sex & the City seasons (much to her father's dismay) and working on internship stuff. I have to go back to school for the fall, though luckily, I will be working on my internship and only have seminar and (1) it's not every week (2)

Thank goodness this isn't my 40 week update; I was really nervous that I'd have to write one of those and even possibly the dreaded 41 week update!  Today was her due date, but we got to meet her just a little early.  Charlotte Esther joined our family at 2:07am on Friday, August 8th... and changed our lives forever.  There's now a squishy baby who calls for us and loves nothing more than snuggling on our chests.  We are, in fact, living the dream.  A dream 4 years in the making and worth every moment.  My heart is so full of love for Charlotte and I am so excited to see how she grows and changes. I have always enjoyed reading the birth stories of my blogger friends' babies and felt it gave me hope as it was the final moment in the battle against infertility, the crossing of a finish line.  So today, in celebration of love and this chubby cheeked baby girl, I share with you the story of Charlotte's birth. Charlotte's Birth Story... I woke up Thursday morni