Thank you everyone for your sweet, sweet messages after our last post. We really embraced the idea that there was nothing we could do to make it go one way or the other and that certainly has helped in dealing with the sense of loss. Because it is a loss. Ultimately, we gave a healthy 5-day embryo a fair shake at implantation and ultimately, life. Obviously better odds than remaining frozen in Chicago or Milwaukee. We're moving on and feeling thankful for the opportunity to try rather than dwell on the sense of loss.
And I was all good in the hood you guys... until I saw my RE again this week and he expressed his "condolences on our miscarriage." The word hit me like a stake in the heart. I suddenly felt so much grief. Maybe it was because someone else was saying it or maybe it was because I had never even once associated a failed transfer with miscarriage... either way, it stung. To be clear, I still don't consider it a miscarriage. The embryo never implanted and there was never a positive pregnancy test. It's just a failed transfer. So -- don't cry for me, Argentina. Maybe cry a little because after all that work to build an amazingly cozy lining for this embaby.... if you don't use it, ya lose it. And HOT DAMN. Like a crime scene, yo. For real.
We have three more opportunities to transfer and hope that at least one of them is successful in helping us add to our family. After that, we need to regroup and consider our options for moving forward. Likely, we'll be looking at another round of IVF (woof) though we have also discussed adoption or foster care. Who knows. :)
In short, you guys are fantastic and I truly appreciate your kindness during kind of a sad time. But the overall vibe here at La Casa de Los Porchs is hopeful. And sassiness. ;)
Have a great night, friends!
xo
Mama Porch
And I was all good in the hood you guys... until I saw my RE again this week and he expressed his "condolences on our miscarriage." The word hit me like a stake in the heart. I suddenly felt so much grief. Maybe it was because someone else was saying it or maybe it was because I had never even once associated a failed transfer with miscarriage... either way, it stung. To be clear, I still don't consider it a miscarriage. The embryo never implanted and there was never a positive pregnancy test. It's just a failed transfer. So -- don't cry for me, Argentina. Maybe cry a little because after all that work to build an amazingly cozy lining for this embaby.... if you don't use it, ya lose it. And HOT DAMN. Like a crime scene, yo. For real.
We have three more opportunities to transfer and hope that at least one of them is successful in helping us add to our family. After that, we need to regroup and consider our options for moving forward. Likely, we'll be looking at another round of IVF (woof) though we have also discussed adoption or foster care. Who knows. :)
In short, you guys are fantastic and I truly appreciate your kindness during kind of a sad time. But the overall vibe here at La Casa de Los Porchs is hopeful. And sassiness. ;)
Have a great night, friends!
xo
Mama Porch
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