Skip to main content

A roundhouse kick to the ovaries

Here's the thing with infertility; it seems like it's never quite done with me.  Charlotte is 3 and exhaustingly perfect.  I am so insanely thankful that I get to be her mama.  We have tried 4 additional transfers since hers and it just doesn't seem to be in our favor.  I hear the science telling me that I'm done, that I likely won't get to hold a newborn in labor & delivery again and know that this tiny person is mine.  Right? Like this is just the known part of infertility.  The pangs of desire hit me every now and then but I can rationalize them and make the steps to pursue IVF once more (more details on that coming this spring).

It's the little things that I forget and then come back to kick me square in the ovaries.

It's putting away Charlotte's 3T and 4T clothing and staring woefully at the stack of totes I once optimistically thought would be reopened.
It's rocking a baby at work and watching her fall asleep while I'm wondering if I'll ever have those loooooong nights again.
It's handing down toys and clothing to my niece because I am so uncertain if we will ever need these items again.

It's every. single. time someone asks if I am going to have another baby, why I didn't want another baby, or (my personal favorite) -- if I am pregnant.  (Nope!  Just fat!  Thanks for asking!)

They are like constant reminders that my reproductive system is not cooperating with my heart.

What if this is it?




Now I feel even less crazy for having tried so hard to baby this giant person for so long.  If this is my first and last go at parenting, I want every opportunity to love her as deeply as I can.  Babies don't keep.  Neither do toddlers or preschoolers.  I firmly believe that we're gonna miss this and I try very hard to savor and keep all these little moments.

xo
Mama Porch

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It is not 1950; I do not vacuum in pearls.

Hi, it's me - I know it's been a while, but I've been deep inside that bubble I mentioned when everything first happened in November 2020 and I am starting to emerge having done some serious healing and navigating within the trauma of being a suicide survivor and a sole parent. This has nothing to do with that though. I'm dumping this thought here because I need it documented: You know how the conservative crowd tends to use "Well I don't have any children, why should I help pay for the schools?" and "People are just too lazy to work, I don't know why we need social services to help people pay for their child care and food?" I'm noticing those are the same voices I hear in restaurants complaining that there are no servers. No bartenders. No one available to change their oil or to do other trade work. And no one to watch their children.  The CEO of the company I work for posted a big response about how child care is the gatekeeper to folks...

35 weeks = 35 days to go!

We might have a name picked out (nothing like waiting until the last minute).  We're not sharing and it's only partly because we want it to be a surprise.  It's also because I'm a little nervous that we'll change our minds when we meet her.  Though I'm like 95% sure she will fit right into this name.  It's perfect and I love it. I also think I started nesting this week.  I got home on Monday night and went to town cleaning, organizing, everything.  We have her crib ready for her, which seems funny because I'm pretty sure she'll be hanging with us in our room for a while ;)  Her room is coming together, things are getting put away and organized and it makes me so happy! How far along?  35 weeks Progress:   None.  Cervix is closed, she hasn't dropped -- she ain't goin' no where anytime soon. Total weight gain:   I've gained 19 pounds total (my guess is that's 59% Drumsticks -- which I have found a replacement for:   ...

The neighborhood gem

We have lived in our current place for about 2.5 years. Sunday marked the first time EVER that we walked to the neighborhood park and participated in open swim at the pool. I don't know why it took so long... maybe because we're not usually here on the weekends? Not sure. But Sunday was such a gorgeous day that we couldn't resist the urge to be outside but this preggo needed to be cool. I mentioned the pool and called to find out deets (hours, type of swim, fee, etc) and we slipped on our suits & were out the door in no time! We had been working all morning to assemble baby gear and catch up on laundry so we welcomed the break. We spent about an hour soaking up the sun and floating around in the water. We really aren't going anywhere (no more trips to the cabin or Green Bay for me) between now and the baby's arrival so I suspect that if the weather is nice, we'll be more likely to consider the pool.  Hey, it's clean, free, and close to home. Can...