The First Two Years of Marriage

I suspect that if we were to poll some of the couples whose marriages have stood the test of time, they will agree that time flies and in a moment, years have passed.

Naturally, as we celebrate our second year of wedding bliss (read: survival), Porch & I have our own perspective on how to make a marriage happy...

• Download IMDB (International Movie Data Base):  it quickly solves any disputes regarding actors, titles, etc.
• I put this one first mostly because of how often we use this tool to just nip an argument in the bud.  For real.  It's on both of our phones, the iPad, and of course we can use our laptops as well.  It's a helpful little resource.
• Go download it.  I'll wait.
• Make coffee the night before:  it makes the house happier in the morning.
• We both require large doses of caffeine to deal with our mornings.  While I'm slowly attempting to wean myself off (kinda), Porch can still drink an entire pot in one sitting.  
• Buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzzz
• Be willing to compromise:  
• fat free vs. regular ranch.  "I know it's bad for me, but it just tastes better."
• Let the record show I don't even like ranch.  I'm a blue cheese kinda gal for my wings and I don't use ranch on anything other than vegetables as a dip. So, I know that makes me weird but I don't care.
• a mashed-up design style is all the rage right now, it doesn't matter if you have a weird mix of your very different styles; in fact, it makes your house your home so go nuts.
• rent the chick flick AND the action, suspense, horror, etc. flick
• sharing Spotify playlists in the car
• I've been introduced to many genres and artists in the past 10 years thanks to Porch
• I'm currently listening to Trampled by Turtles on vinyl in our dining room.
• I think we're hipsters now, but don't tell Porch.
• Make sure you have 1.5 bathrooms; have a dedicated poop bathroom.  I think you know why.
• Share the chores.
• I'll do laundry if you do ... dishes & take out the trash.
• I secretly don't mind cleaning the bathrooms, I'm anal retentive that way.  I have an inner Danny Tanner I think.  I've seriously considered cleaning my vacuum cleaner in moments of cleaning rush.
• Unplug.
• There's an awful lot of technology floating around our house these days.  Make sure you make time to leave those beloved items in the other room and have a good chat w/ your spouse.
• We once sat our dining table w/ dinner and wine and talked for 4 (I know right?!) hours one evening.  Just because.
• Cook together
• Time in the kitchen will allow for more conversation than you will likely have in front of the tv with delivery
• Not to say that delivery isn't AWESOME on those days when your brain is nothing but mush, but your marriage is going to require some work and maintenance so it's important to catch up with each other every day.
• You'll probably (hopefully) be less fat.
• See the point above regarding delivery
• Maybe also go for some walks in your neighborhood.
• Again with the less fat.
• Make time for yourselves
• Hurry up and block off select weekends for yourselves where you vow to do nothing but be together and refuse to accept any invites.
• Unless it's an invite to something truly amazing.
• Like backstage passes to a Tool concert (clearly Porch's answer)
• We usually block off a weekend in the fall before the holiday craziness starts and another in the weeks before Christmas, when we do the most traveling.  
• We have our own little celebration together -- see Los Porchs Amazing Holiday Weekend 2011
• Stop comparing yourselves and your relationship to anyone else's.
• "Comparison is the thief of joy."
• There's a reason you're together and have been happy during this time.  Allowing yourself to gaze at someone else's life and feel jealousy is to take away from your own happiness.  You'll never really understand the troubles and problems within other people's relationships.  They may be looking at your's the same way.
• Also, Facebook is kind of the devil for this -- no one is posting the shitty stuff happening in their lives. Except those people who vaguely hint at how sad or upset they are but really only seem to be seeking attention.  All you'll find online is the happy stuff, people posting as they posture themselves to be perceived as happy.
• And that's fine. I guess.
• Be realistic. This is real life.  Nothing's perfect.
• Your life, no matter how entertaining, is not and will never be a romantic comedy.
• Sometimes, you'll say the wrong thing and you will need to apologize.  
• He's not always going to bring you flowers just because.
• Besides, wouldn't you prefer if he showed up w/ ice cream?
• No?  Just me.  See??  Everyone has their own thing.
• You're not always going to look perfect.  
• By all means, clean up for events and gatherings, but no one gives a shit if you're at home in your sweats w/ no make-up on.  

I think we've covered some important topics today.  Take some time to let these marinate.  Some things are just non-negotiable.  We, for example, will ALWAYS have a poop bathroom.  And we love to cook together.  But our relationship will (hopefully) continue to evolve and new things will come up and be added to our toolbox.  

What are the secrets to happiness with your Significant Other?

Do you have a poop bathroom?

If not, do you kinda wish you did? 

Thought so.

xoxo,

Mrs. Porch