When you're the couple among couple friends who are still trying to conceive your first, it's tough. Having family that is anxious for a new baby is also difficult. What most people don't realize though is that when this is the case, it's not the big events that make the struggle hurt more -- it's not birth announcements or showers or seeing more and more people having multiple children. In fact, we're overjoyed at the blessings of our family and friends.
It's the little things... those little one-liners that do the most damage. Almost like baby-bullying. Need a for instance? Have a few! Take 'em with you when you leave as well!
When are you guys gonna have a kid?
You're almost 30...
Did you see so and so is having another?
Don't you want children?
You deserve to have children (huh?!)
When I was your age, I already had 3 kids! ((OMG don't EVEN get me started with this one))
These little nuggets are the worst. They make me stop what I'm doing and start letting myself think it's my fault that things aren't going as well as hoped. I mean, c'mon. When I was in high school, I was certain I'd be married right out of college and be done making babies by 30; I didn't dream I'd not even be started. Then again, I didn't dream of Porch. I didn't know how amazing our life would be together and I would much rather have a solid relationship than have children and a spouse I despise. I certainly didn't dream I would have endometriosis (seriously, who would) or a life-altering surgery... or a fiance who stood by my side the entire time I was in the hospital.
I'm quite happy to say that I am incredibly thankful for unanswered prayers. Some of our prayers may not have been answered yet but we like to think that it's because so many other great blessings have come our way & we have much more to look forward to -- we'll get to the baby situation just as soon as we're able.
Until then, kindly keep your one-liners to yourselves. Or at least bring me a drink before starting the conversation so I can drown you out!
Cheers!
Mrs. Porch
It's the little things... those little one-liners that do the most damage. Almost like baby-bullying. Need a for instance? Have a few! Take 'em with you when you leave as well!
When are you guys gonna have a kid?
You're almost 30...
Did you see so and so is having another?
Don't you want children?
You deserve to have children (huh?!)
When I was your age, I already had 3 kids! ((OMG don't EVEN get me started with this one))
These little nuggets are the worst. They make me stop what I'm doing and start letting myself think it's my fault that things aren't going as well as hoped. I mean, c'mon. When I was in high school, I was certain I'd be married right out of college and be done making babies by 30; I didn't dream I'd not even be started. Then again, I didn't dream of Porch. I didn't know how amazing our life would be together and I would much rather have a solid relationship than have children and a spouse I despise. I certainly didn't dream I would have endometriosis (seriously, who would) or a life-altering surgery... or a fiance who stood by my side the entire time I was in the hospital.
I'm quite happy to say that I am incredibly thankful for unanswered prayers. Some of our prayers may not have been answered yet but we like to think that it's because so many other great blessings have come our way & we have much more to look forward to -- we'll get to the baby situation just as soon as we're able.
Until then, kindly keep your one-liners to yourselves. Or at least bring me a drink before starting the conversation so I can drown you out!
Cheers!
Mrs. Porch
The comments ARE the worst.
ReplyDeleteFrom Aunt-in-law a couple years back: So Julie, are you guys EVEN starting to think about trying to have kids yet?
What I would have liked to say: Ummmmm...Yes Auntie-so-and-so we have been trying for 2 miserable years and have an appointment with a reproductive specialist after the holidays. Actually I just had an HSG last week and my vagina and uterus are still really sore. Get off my freakin' back and mind your own damn business.
What I actually said: Yes, we are ready when God is ready.