Folks, I had been planning this great post about the fact that I covered the spread this morning and really got my poop in a group -- took Charlotte out for a *brisk* morning walk before the snow and wind arrived, shared a pancake breakfast with her and did puzzles before laying her down for morning nap and then putting together what promises to be a good CrockPot meal. While sipping coffee.
But then I started to think about those other mornings. Because there are two very important things not mentioned above:
1. That's just a morning, anything can happen between now and when Daddy gets home that may result in me pacing the kitchen, anxiously watching for Ryan's truck.
2. They are not all that peaceful.
Some mornings just plain suck. Some mornings, I struggle with the fact that I am not going to work and it's only highlighted by Charlotte pointing at Ryan's chair at the table and asking with her hands up "Daddy?" to which I reply, "Daddy went to work." It's a constant reminder (though sometimes good) that I am home and that Ryan is at work.
Being a stay at home mom is hard flipping' work and anyone who thinks otherwise can take a stroll in my shoes and chase my toddler. Kudos to the mamas with more than one tiny human. Being a stay at home early childhood professional is THE WORST. I have internal conversations with myself daily reminding myself that screen time before two is meant to be interaction-based and I need to commit to being present with Charlotte as she navigates it. I hate myself every time I turn on Mickey Fucking Mouse Clubhouse. I hate that my child dances to the Hotdog Dance and gets so damn excited about it. I feel sick to my stomach when she points to the word Disney and exclaims "MeMe!" (which is toddler for Mickey). (Actually, I kinda feel proud about that last one because she's using environmental print, but I wish it was something other than Mickey/Disney.)
I constantly have to remind myself to be kind to myself. To give myself that grace I'm always telling others to give themselves. To remember that I'm not at school, I'm raising my kid. We don't need a lesson plan, but we do need a plan. We don't need objectives as dictated by Head Start, but we do need purpose to our days. Days when we "just" color and play with play dough make me feel like I am stuck in Groundhog's Day (or a really average classroom). I need something more.
I started a bucket list for Charlotte and I; something I put together over the weekend to give us that sense of purpose and motivation. I love play dough and coloring it totally my jam, but if we never do more than that, I am going to slip into madness.
Ryan gave me a Fitbit for Christmas and I am so thankful for that! My brother started a Work Week Challenge and though we won't win (we don't have a treadmill and I have to worry about things like keeping a baby warm), being accountable for my steps is awesome. It's what got me moving bright and early today with a very well-bundled baby who was possibly still half-asleep. It's what makes me go downstairs to find things to do so I can get more stairs in!
If you have suggestions of things we can add to our bucket list, I'd love to hear them! This week is another funky holiday week so we really only have four days home together. So far, our list includes going to see Great Grandma, a Walmart run, and going to the library to check out more books. It doesn't have to be something majestic, just something fun to get us out of the house (and free is always a good thing since this Mama is *obviously* still unemployed). I've started a board on Pinterest with things she and I can attempt together.
If you're still reading this, you're some kind of awesome and clearly deserve a picture of how well bundled Charlotte was this morning.
Here's to the stay at home parents -- to the moments that aren't Facebook/Pinterest/Instagram worthy (everyone has them, don't be fooled by what people post), those that make you want to pull every last hair out of your head, and most importantly, to the moments when everything clicks and you find your zen... may you be able to find that feeling and hold it with you when your toddler has decided to use your door as a coloring pad while you were warming up your coffee for the 3rd time.
But then I started to think about those other mornings. Because there are two very important things not mentioned above:
1. That's just a morning, anything can happen between now and when Daddy gets home that may result in me pacing the kitchen, anxiously watching for Ryan's truck.
2. They are not all that peaceful.
Some mornings just plain suck. Some mornings, I struggle with the fact that I am not going to work and it's only highlighted by Charlotte pointing at Ryan's chair at the table and asking with her hands up "Daddy?" to which I reply, "Daddy went to work." It's a constant reminder (though sometimes good) that I am home and that Ryan is at work.
Being a stay at home mom is hard flipping' work and anyone who thinks otherwise can take a stroll in my shoes and chase my toddler. Kudos to the mamas with more than one tiny human. Being a stay at home early childhood professional is THE WORST. I have internal conversations with myself daily reminding myself that screen time before two is meant to be interaction-based and I need to commit to being present with Charlotte as she navigates it. I hate myself every time I turn on Mickey Fucking Mouse Clubhouse. I hate that my child dances to the Hotdog Dance and gets so damn excited about it. I feel sick to my stomach when she points to the word Disney and exclaims "MeMe!" (which is toddler for Mickey). (Actually, I kinda feel proud about that last one because she's using environmental print, but I wish it was something other than Mickey/Disney.)
I constantly have to remind myself to be kind to myself. To give myself that grace I'm always telling others to give themselves. To remember that I'm not at school, I'm raising my kid. We don't need a lesson plan, but we do need a plan. We don't need objectives as dictated by Head Start, but we do need purpose to our days. Days when we "just" color and play with play dough make me feel like I am stuck in Groundhog's Day (or a really average classroom). I need something more.
I started a bucket list for Charlotte and I; something I put together over the weekend to give us that sense of purpose and motivation. I love play dough and coloring it totally my jam, but if we never do more than that, I am going to slip into madness.
Ryan gave me a Fitbit for Christmas and I am so thankful for that! My brother started a Work Week Challenge and though we won't win (we don't have a treadmill and I have to worry about things like keeping a baby warm), being accountable for my steps is awesome. It's what got me moving bright and early today with a very well-bundled baby who was possibly still half-asleep. It's what makes me go downstairs to find things to do so I can get more stairs in!
If you have suggestions of things we can add to our bucket list, I'd love to hear them! This week is another funky holiday week so we really only have four days home together. So far, our list includes going to see Great Grandma, a Walmart run, and going to the library to check out more books. It doesn't have to be something majestic, just something fun to get us out of the house (and free is always a good thing since this Mama is *obviously* still unemployed). I've started a board on Pinterest with things she and I can attempt together.
If you're still reading this, you're some kind of awesome and clearly deserve a picture of how well bundled Charlotte was this morning.
 |
| I think I caught her off guard with our walk; usually we go in the afternoon, but we were up and out the door by 8:30 this morning and I let her wear her pajamas and new bathrobe with her (gah) Lambie slippers. It was the first time she let me zip the bag on her stroller. Homegirl was CUDDLED UP. |
Cheers!
Mama Porch
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