Skip to main content

Comparison is the thief of joy

I am by no means the most religious person you'll ever meet.  I cannot quote the Bible with you.  I was confirmed in the Catholic faith, married by a Lutheran minister, and seemingly lost my faith later down the road while I struggled with the loss of my cousin and my own health issues.  I started to find my way again when I started IVF.  I fell in love with the Pope's 5-finger prayer.  It calmed my nerves as I spent every quiet moment wondering if Charlotte was okay in there, if I would have a true success story, not wanting to jinx myself by being too happy.



Lent is now upon us and while I very much struggle with the concept of giving up meat on Ash Wednesday and Fridays during this season, I had a great conversation with my sister-in-law who pointed out that it's really more about the mindfulness.  That's a word I hear more and more in conversation lately and that was something that made sense to me.  Not that it made me want to give up meat or anything else.  Instead, it made me want to be more mindful.  More present.

So after seeing a Facebook friend's updated profile picture with a note that says "Gone for Lent," I started to wonder what would happen if I gave up Facebook for the season of Lent.  I deleted the app from all of my devices.  Admittedly, I am keeping the messenger app though because that's my main source of communication with some people.  What I'm hoping is that I can focus more on being present with Charlotte and Porch.  To stop mindlessly checking my feed to see what's going on... To stop feeling envious of the selective-posters who only show the good things going on.  I'm considering this a cleanse.  A chance to enjoy the good things happening in my own life.



xo
Mama Porch

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It is not 1950; I do not vacuum in pearls.

Hi, it's me - I know it's been a while, but I've been deep inside that bubble I mentioned when everything first happened in November 2020 and I am starting to emerge having done some serious healing and navigating within the trauma of being a suicide survivor and a sole parent. This has nothing to do with that though. I'm dumping this thought here because I need it documented: You know how the conservative crowd tends to use "Well I don't have any children, why should I help pay for the schools?" and "People are just too lazy to work, I don't know why we need social services to help people pay for their child care and food?" I'm noticing those are the same voices I hear in restaurants complaining that there are no servers. No bartenders. No one available to change their oil or to do other trade work. And no one to watch their children.  The CEO of the company I work for posted a big response about how child care is the gatekeeper to folks

Changing of the Seasons

We are approaching the one-year anniversary of when Ryan completed suicide. It brings a lot of emotions and feelings and memories and honestly - exhaustion. I have spent the last year in therapy digging myself out of a lot of those feelings and learning how to be Danie and not Porch and Danie. There have been a lot (!) of tears, a lot of me yelling at Ryan, cursing his name for leaving me to parent alone, a lot of wondering what comes next for the girl gang, a lot of rebuilding. But we're here. I'm here. And arguably stronger than ever (though not physically - listen, I eat my feelings and will work on that side of things later -- DO NOT SEND ME MLM BS ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT). I am much more aware of myself and the girls and more emotionally present than I've ever been. Those girls have been my light through some really dark shit. The seasons are changing. We are almost through our season of "firsts." And if you know, you know. If you don't, you're quite fort

Charlotte's birth story

Thank goodness this isn't my 40 week update; I was really nervous that I'd have to write one of those and even possibly the dreaded 41 week update!  Today was her due date, but we got to meet her just a little early.  Charlotte Esther joined our family at 2:07am on Friday, August 8th... and changed our lives forever.  There's now a squishy baby who calls for us and loves nothing more than snuggling on our chests.  We are, in fact, living the dream.  A dream 4 years in the making and worth every moment.  My heart is so full of love for Charlotte and I am so excited to see how she grows and changes. I have always enjoyed reading the birth stories of my blogger friends' babies and felt it gave me hope as it was the final moment in the battle against infertility, the crossing of a finish line.  So today, in celebration of love and this chubby cheeked baby girl, I share with you the story of Charlotte's birth. Charlotte's Birth Story... I woke up Thursday morni