Skip to main content

Fear

You guys are amazing.  I love how many of you reached out after my last post to check in and learn more about our plans and just to share how the post impacted you.  You're the best.  For real. xo  I also didn't expect that post to pull so many readers into our loop, but if you're here because you read one of those last few posts, welcome to the shit show.

I realized that there's something holding me back from being ready for the FET (frozen embryo transfer) and it's something bigger than I expected:  fear.  It's hard to be brave and prepare yourself for the unknown.  Infertility comes with baggage and it's not just the physical (ask anyone who has endured the injections)... the emotional baggage is legit and it far exceeds carry-on regulations. See what I did there?  GAWD I'm so punny -- I totally get it from my mother, so please don't judge me.

It's the kind of baggage that leaves you shell-shocked and drained.  Our great fortune was finding success on our first round; this isn't common and I wasn't emotionally prepared for that either.  I am a master at building walls to keep myself safe.  I doubted everything and was paranoid the entire pregnancy that something would go wrong, that I surely couldn't be that person who finds (and keeps) happiness.

Fear is a monster that paralyzes me.  

{For example, it keeps me from decorating the extra bedroom as an office}

Me:  I don't want to commit to making it an office just to make it into a nursery...
Fear: stfu, you're never going to get pregnant or need a nursery.
Me: Sure.  Maybe I'll just do nothing with this room instead.  Yep, a perfectly empty useable space. For nothing.

They don't really warn you about the mental health issues surrounding infertility.  Let's face it, most folks don't talk about mental health period until something tragic happens and then we all stand back and think "Whoa.  How did no one notice this brewing?"  That's the thing with mental health -- it's fragile and it's hidden.

When we speak out about these big feelings, people look at us strangely because "You've got it all together!" and "You look fine." I'm not wandering about my house in a bathrobe, guys.  My life is not an anti-depressant commercial.  Rather, my life is a battle to embrace the happy moments and keep the fear at bay.  A fight to be brave.

Sharing our story is one way that I can work through those big, scary feelings and prepare myself for the next step.  We're almost ready for an FET.  I'll tell you more about that next time!

xo
Mama Porch

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The neighborhood gem

We have lived in our current place for about 2.5 years. Sunday marked the first time EVER that we walked to the neighborhood park and participated in open swim at the pool. I don't know why it took so long... maybe because we're not usually here on the weekends? Not sure. But Sunday was such a gorgeous day that we couldn't resist the urge to be outside but this preggo needed to be cool. I mentioned the pool and called to find out deets (hours, type of swim, fee, etc) and we slipped on our suits & were out the door in no time! We had been working all morning to assemble baby gear and catch up on laundry so we welcomed the break. We spent about an hour soaking up the sun and floating around in the water. We really aren't going anywhere (no more trips to the cabin or Green Bay for me) between now and the baby's arrival so I suspect that if the weather is nice, we'll be more likely to consider the pool.  Hey, it's clean, free, and close to home. Can...

when even the doctor feels badly for you

went for the repeat ultrasound yesterday with my heart filled with positive thoughts and feelings just to find out that my uterine lining is WAY too thick to move forward. in fact, dr. b was worried because my uterus and ovaries seem to be having different conversations about where they are in my cycle. blood was drawn and results revealed that i hadn't ovulated and so, my dear friends, i am back on birth control for an undetermined length of time. the short version of this paragraph:  i didn't bleed enough this month so i have to do it again. you know it's rough when even the doctor has that sad look in her eyes and wraps up the appointment with, "I feel so bad for you, it's just one thing after another." that's why i like her, to be honest. let's not sugar coat this process and let's skip the whole "we'll get 'em next time, tiger" pep talk. it sucks. and we're allowed to feel that, my fellow infertility peeps. it's o...

Maternity Pictures

I let out the biggest squeal of joy when I went to get the mail today and found this package waiting for me! Seriously, I've been stalking Bobbi's life and seeing everyone's amazing teasers was making me so much more excited to get our pictures!  I'm so happy to share the amazing work done by Bobbi at The Salty Peanut.  I highly recommend her to all of my Wisconsinite friends, particularly those in the Madison area, though she's willing to travel.  Check out the website here  and let her know that Mrs. Porch sent you her way!  Her work speaks for itself so I won't gush too much...... I seriously cannot pick a favorite.  So I'm not going to.  But you can!  :) Just 19 days until Baby Porch is predicted to arrive!  I'm so happy we got these back before she arrived; it's such a fun way to remember this exciting time in our lives.  And soon, we won't look nearly as well-rested, but we'll have ...