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Grieving

I am allowing myself just until the end of this week to grieve.  I will never have that unexpected moment of finding out I'm pregnant.  I will never "know" before the medical community.  It's just never going to be a "normal" pregnancy.  (But seriously, when have I ever been normal?!)

I'm coming to terms with this loss as I quickly realize that I am just happy to think that I can still get pregnant.  We still have hope in our corner and for that, I'm thankful.  I'm scared of the road ahead and all that will come with our visits with a fertility specialist, attempts at IVF, and the finances behind the entire situation.  I think our insurance will cover a large portion of this but I still have this nagging feeling that we're about to bite off more than we can chew.

So there it is -- good grief.  Having a moment or two and then moving on to get into this process and make sure that we're of sound mind & body when we attempt to bring mini Porchs into the world.

Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

xoxo

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